I’ve attended the show 52 times, and have been to the venue a handful of other times just for parties or special events. I have left the show early twice, and both of those occasions involved almost throwing up on Ted Johnson. This should not suggest anything unsavory about Ted Johnson, of whom I am very fond.

I love well-made cocktails, eyeliner, kittens, immersive theater, large parties, small parties, improbable foodstuffs, fresh coffee, Sharpies, complicated boardgames, bowties, fishnets, most puppies, hot sauce, goats, glitter, bizarre partial-shave haircuts, strappy lingerie, dark chocolate, butts, coffee milk, burlesque, black jeans, adequately commented code, loud rock shows, glasses, garish socks, manicures, non-novelty tarot decks, suspenders, and ice cream.

I also enjoy a variety of popular media, some of which you probably don’t care for.

You may find this edifying. Or perhaps this.

This is a popular question. I’m just going to repeat the advice I gave last time: go to shows and don’t be a dick.

And Gambo’s addition: “Leave the creep factor at the door, don’t try to sleep with any of us, and come prepared with some good handjob jokes. Also, buying us drinks helps.”

My current go-to sandwich is egg salad and nearly-burnt bacon on a toasted roll with hot sauce.

That is incorrect. Also it doesn’t even make sense as an anti-counterfeiting measure, because if I were going to counterfeit a hundred badges I would buy a real one myself to copy them from, not work from fucking Instagram pics.

I am in an open relationship.

My life is pretty full already and I’m not actively looking for someone to sweep me off my cloven hooves, but yes I am on OKCupid. Your first task is finding my profile (it’s not difficult).

Edit: Also I am queer. Ladies.

Yes, I really won a Webby. I’m a web developer, and in 2009 I was part of the team that built a new website for the Guggenheim museum. And we won.

Anticipated follow up questions:

• Yes, I went to the Webby gala and wore a fancy dress
• Yes, the booze was free and plentiful
• Our five-word acceptance speech was “Frank Lloyd Wright was right.”
• Yes, I met Trent Reznor (which you weren’t going to ask but I don’t care)

Because my interwebbular homeblarg pagesite has existed longer than Tumblr. Here, have some history you never wanted: 

• There’s actually a whole year of posts from 1998 - 1999 that I didn’t bother archiving because I figured nobody would want an archive.  We didn’t really have the word “blog” yet, and I thought of the content as being completely ephemeral and only worth reading on the day it was posted. (I still kind of think this, to be honest with you.)
• Then I switched to a sort of Fisher Price Baby’s First CMS written by my friend Spencer and myself (mostly Spencer)
• Then I switched to a long-dead system called NewsPro (fun fact: we also used NewsPro on Penny Arcade, briefly)
• From NewsPro I went to MovableType, which was the new hotness among all the INTERNET PROFESSIONALS I associated with
• Then I got kicked out of my luxurious free web hosting because of reasons and used TypePad for a year or so
• Then I was like “hosted content management systems are so lame lol” and switched to WordPress
• Then I got tired of the comically frequent security problems and moved all my shit to Tumblr

Where I still am.

This means that, should you care to, you can revisit a time in my life when I was an insufferable little undergrad who didn’t use capital letters, or really any point of your choosing in the past 12 years. It’s all pretty hilarious, but I leave it up because of my fondness for you, internet stranger.

To be honest, I’m not really comfortable sharing my own calendar in public. But if we are actually friends, shoot me a non-anonymous message and I’m happy to share it privately.

That said, almost none of the stuff I go to requires any particular insider knowledge. For burlesque events, just add some of your favorite performers on Facebook and I guarantee you will get more invitations than you will even know what to do with. For everything else, I’m fond of The Skint, Brokelyn, Nonsense NYC, NerdYorkCity, and Google NYC.

As for the crazy parties… you just need to make weirder and more awesome friends, obviously.

See if you can guess.

I guess I don’t really know how to answer this! Making friends with the Protomen is not really any different from making friends with anyone else. If it’s advice you’re looking for, I guess all I can say is go to shows and don’t be a dick.

I don’t believe I have any food allergies. I have a strong dislike for cabbage, however. Thanks for your concern, anonymous Internet person!