Here’s a hilarious story about some poor girl who accidentally went on two dates with a guy who plays Magic! Can you imagine? Not only that, he’s super good at it!

Just like you’re obligated to mention you’re divorced or have a kid in your online profile, shouldn’t someone also be required to disclose any indisputably geeky world championship titles? But maybe it was a long time ago? We met for round two later that week.

At dinner I got straight down to it. Did he still play? “Yes.” Strike one. How often? “I’m preparing for a tournament this weekend.” Strike two. Who did he hang out with? “I’ve met all my best friends through Magic.” Strike three. I smiled and nodded and listened. Eventually I even felt a little bit bad that I didn’t know shit about the game. Here was a guy who had dedicated a good chunk of his life to mastering Magic, on a date with a girl who can barely play Solitaire. This is what happens, I thought, when you lie in your online profile. I was lured on a date thinking I’d met a normal finance guy, only to realize he was a champion dweeb in hedge funder’s clothing.

I feel like there’s definitely an asshole in this story, and it’s definitely Alyssa Bereznak.

Disclosure: I was pretty seriously into Magic for much of high school and played in tournaments as recently as last summer. I still play the Xbox version.