A while back, I was remarking to a friend that I hadn’t gotten seriously ill in nearly nine months. This is unusual for me, as I have a notoriously wimpy immune system. The next morning, I woke up with a slightly scratchy throat, and by the end of the day my misery was quite potent.
That was just over two weeks ago, and I’m actually still sick, which is about as fun as you would imagine. For a while I was concerned that it might be pneumonia because it was fairly difficult to breathe and I was coughing up a lot of terrifying alien substances, so I headed to the emergency room to see what they thought about it. The ER doctor agreed that the whole thing was rather suspicious, so he sent me to get a couple of chest x-rays to see what the hell was going on.
I mention the x-ray part only because the room in which I had my x-rays was so fantastically old that it looked like something out of Bioshock. Chipped paint everywhere, sinister machinery, amusing vintage signage, the whole works. I was really hoping that I’d end up with mutant superpowers after getting x-rayed in there, but nothing has revealed itself yet. Which is a real shame.
But it isn’t pneumonia as it turns out, it’s just some shitty mystery plague that I have to wait out, because it’s viral instead of bacterial. When I went to the hospital, my throat and chest were hurting so much that coughing or swallowing actually made me tear up a little bit, so I asked if there was anything I could do about the pain, and the ER doctor happily wrote me a prescription for Motrin. Yeah, fucking Motrin.
Anyway, I am slowly getting better. I bring all of this up mainly because a lot of friends and family have contacted me to find out if I am okay, or asked why I still can’t really speak. (I have a scratchy kind of croak which I find endearing in a lady-Tom-Waits sort of way, but I understand it might be disturbing to others.) So this is me assuring all of you that I am not now, nor have I ever been, dead. Worry not! I’ll be sure to let you know if I develop any mutant superpowers, also.
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