At least the Republicans are good for something: with a smattering of protesters in the financial district and people getting arrested in front of my office building, we get to work from home for the rest of the week. Web dev just isn’t web dev unless you’re in your pajamas at 2pm, you know.

If your ass is larger than a subway seat, do not attempt to sit down in a single empty spot between two people. This is especially important when one of the people who is already sitting down has a wall or pole on her other side, and can only watch in horror as your gigantic ass descends.

I don’t care what town you’re from or that you’ve only been in New York for four hours: when the doors open, you let the irritable commuters get off the train before you attempt to insert your fanny-packed family into the crowd that is still on it. If you block the doors for even half a second, the irritable commuters will become much more irritable, and you will understand immediately why New York has the reputation that it does. Think Africanized honey bees. Similarly, do not stand at the bottom (or top) of a staircase with one of those enormous subway maps fully unfolded, oblivious to the fact that you are completely in the fucking way.

These suggestions are not unreasonable, I feel. But you’d be surprised how many days out of the week I ride to work with a commuter’s ass half in my lap or nearly miss my stop because some jackass with a Ground Zero t-shirt doesn’t realize that people must get off the train before anyone can get on. These are days when only my beloved iPod keeps me from doing things both hostile and unwise.

When I got home on Friday afternoon, my goal for the weekend was not to leave the house at all - and I have succeeded admirably. Thanks to FreshDirect and Netflix, I have spent the entire weekend indoors, either asleep or completely entertained, and consequently I may have beaten the plague (for now).

Incidentally, and while we’re speaking of the Black Death, did anyone else notice an unusual quantity of dead rats in the financial district on Friday morning? I saw nearly a dozen of the little bastards belly up on the sidewalk and in the gutter on my way to work. I suppose they had just baited the area the night before or something, but it was a little eerie.

Things are a little crazy at work this week because one of the sites we’re working on is scheduled to launch today, but this actually meshes surprisingly well with my recent bout of plaguefulness. It turns out that when I’m sick, a little DayQuil and a lot of coffee allow me to enter some kind of work-based trance in which I can sit at my desk and work pretty much forever without needing to eat or sleep or stop typing. When I finally got up to go home last night, I realized that not only had my ass fallen completely asleep, but my legs had that kind of weird soreness you get on transatlantic flights. It’s not that I couldn’t have gotten up and walked around, it’s just that I didn’t.

I slept through my alarm this morning (thanks to DayQuil’s unholy demon cousin NyQuil) and am still feeling pretty awful, but the knowledge that just one work day stands between me and an entire weekend of sleeping and soup does wonders for my motivation.

I am sorry for neglecting the Interweb yesterday, but you’d forgive me if you could see the state of my respiratory tract. We’re talking severely limited one-nostril breathing, with the occasional coughing and/or sneezing fit that renders me incapable of human speech for a good ten minutes at a time. I have been making it to work so far this week and hope to do likewise today, but there’s only so much that tag-teaming NyQuil and DayQuil can do against the Black Death.

A couple of people have asked what we’ve been watching since we opened a Netflix account. We’ve managed eleven movies in about three weeks, which I feel is pretty good - especially considering that we often get home too late or too tired on weeknights to watch anything. Also, keep in mind that some of these are things that I’ve seen and thought Chris would like, and some are things that Chris likes and is astonished I have not seen, but none of them have been new to both of us (yet).

Invader Zim: Vol. 1: Doom Doom Doom: Disc 2, 2004
The Shining, 1980
Contact, 1997
Casino, 1995
Invader Zim: Vol. 1: Doom Doom Doom: Disc 1, 2004
Chicago, 2002
Shrek (Widescreen), 2001
The Bourne Identity, 2002
Kill Bill: Vol. 1, 2003
Fargo, 1996
The Silence of the Lambs, 1991

I may be a FlexiMutant, but Chris has me beat when it comes to immune systems - that is to say, he has one and I don’t. We both felt a little sickly on Sunday, but he has since fought it off with his manly white blood cells and I’m just getting worse. I guess summer couldn’t just end without giving me one last summer cold. Just to let me know that it’s still in charge here, no matter what the weather man says.

The scalp’s more or less better, thanks for asking. I still remain tempted to scratch my head with my foot like the cat does - not so much because my head is itchy (which it is) but because it freaks Chris out that I am some kind of FlexiMutant. I can also bend each of my thumbs all the way backwards so that they touch my forearms, although one of them goes farther back than the other one does. No word yet on any bizarre toe talents, though.

If you’re a junior high type person who’s interested in exploring this whole crazy goth thing, you might be tempted to stop by Trash & Vaudeville for your new wardrobe. But keep in mind the following if you want to retain any of your nascent goth points:

1. First and foremost, don’t bring your mom. I realize that when you’re twelve or possibly thirteen, she’s pretty much the piggy bank as far as clothes are concerned. But you know perfectly well that she’s not going to like anything they sell at T&V, and having her stand outside the fitting room asking if your rump is too big for those pants is only going to make things worse for you. This is where part time jobs come in handy - when I was your age, I washed dishes at a seafood restaurant so I could afford my own fishnets. Plus I had to walk uphill through the snow to the fishnet store. Both ways.

2. Don’t ask any of the staff if they have those pants that Avril Lavigne wore in her last video. For that matter, don’t assume anyone there knows what Avril Lavigne’s last video was.

3. Definitely don’t show up with Crow-style makeup done in brown eyeliner. Not that Crow-style makeup is ever really excusable - but seriously, if you don’t have any black eyeliner yet, just call the whole thing off.

4. Don’t read the patch on my bag (which used to be a shirt) and ask me what the other eight types are. This doesn’t really have anything to do with losing goth points, I just don’t like it when people talk to me.

5. Finally, if you’ve ignored number one and brought your mom, at least refrain from taking her advice about what clothes to buy. She’s your mom, remember - if she likes it, you’re obviously doing something wrong.

All I really need is an extra four hours in the day. Do I really need to sleep for seven hours a night? Couldn’t I get away with three?