So okay: last summer, during a glorious spell of freelance-funded nocturnalism, I managed to wean myself from a pretty hefty caffeine dependency I picked up in high school. (Specifically, in my junior year of high school, when I had some crazy-ass early morning Spanish literature class that necessitated getting up at something like 5:30am. In high school, mind you!) I didn’t stop drinking coffee altogether, but I no longer had to before I could function on any given morning, even once classes started again in the fall. I even made an effort to get an approximately full night of sleep when I had early classes the next day so that I would end up drinking less coffee. I was really smug about this: neener neener, I no longer have to keep a case of Jolt in the house to fend off early morning pre-coffee caffeine headaches. Take that, Wet Planet Beverages!

Except the thing about that is now I’m working full time again and still finishing up the last few weeks of classes, so I’m doing like sixteen hour days - not counting time spent studying when I get home. I can’t really get to bed before ass o’clock (pm), but I still have to get up well before ass o’clock (am). So I’m missing a lot of sleep, and I’m drinking a lot of coffee, and I just know those Saturday morning headaches are right around the corner. But I suppose that’s why they sell Jolt by the case.