The scary-ass Russian grocery on my street, known for having like fifty million kinds of pickles and other things that come in jars but very little in the way of things that are appetizing or indeed edible, has started stocking Weetabix. I mean, what the fuck? I haven’t seen Weetabix anywhere around the US, really - I grew fond of it over the course of several visits to the UK - so why is it showing up in a tiny, alarming Russian grocery? I’d assume it was imported with the rest of their Slavic foodstuffs except it’s the regular British package that I’m used to, while most of their imported stuff is actually in Russian. Either way, I bought a box and am happily crunching away at this very moment.

In other news, Screech is all grown up and doing stand-up comedy, complete with poop jokes and unfortunate facial hair. Sadly, but not shockingly, word is he’s not that great: “I think his fame will carry him through stand-up,” [an audience member] said. “But if he was unknown, he’s mediocre, at best. I think he makes more money signing autographs than doing stand-up.”

In high school, I had a swing-loving friend who was often in search of victims upon whom to practice her atrocious finger waving skills. I escaped at the time thanks to my waist-length hair (I know, I know), and things like this make me happy about that to this day.

New Stripes album out tomorrow. I’d never risk Jack’s wrath by downloading it months ahead of time - no, surely not I - but whatever happened to those extra tracks that were rumored to be added to the release version after it got leaked so early? I see two additional songs on the Japanese import, but the same fourteen tracks on the American version (that’s CD, but the vinyl is likewise). Not that, uh, I’ve already heard those tracks or anything.