I apologize for my unexpected absence yesterday. Will you forgive me if I promise to take pictures of my stylish new Bedhead-Disguising Cap? What if I promise that it, unlike Simon’s deceptively similar Cap, does not make me look like an extra from Newsies? I mean, not that I’m not all for the whole dancing and unionization thing. Quite the contrary, really. But like, my Cap is made of corduroy.

Well, even if you had agreed to forgive me, I haven’t taken any pictures yet anyway. Ha! See, it’s a funny joke.