1. People who voluntarily purchase and drive bright yellow cars that aren’t taxis.

2. Putting salt on pizza. Garlic? Of course. Parmesan? Pile it on. But salt? What the hell is wrong with you? (Note that folding pizza is perfectly acceptable, regardless of what you freaks do outside of New York.)

3. That guy picking a fight with Joel over escalator etiquette. Stand on the right, you lazy fuckers.

4. Why it is I don’t get carded buying beer, but I get carded buying games rated M. Do I just look like I really, really need a drink? More than I need to beat up hookers?

5. How I managed to go for so long without ordering stickers from Contagious Graphics. I’m going to have to chime in with my inter-net husband: they’re so good, and so cheap.