Apparently when writing my Saturday HowTo, I forgot to include the part about “Find yourself completely unable to refuse the abundance of free alcohol available at the club you end up going to and come home so completely wasted that you’re pretty much useless until Sunday’s more or less over.” So yeah, that.

The truly impressive hangover is a thing of beauty, to be treasured like the delicate blossom it is before it fades all too soon. Learn to appreciate the headache that creeps up with the sun, like a morning glory unfurling its petals except maybe with more Advil. Express awe and wonderment at the fact that you can’t so much as roll over in bed without needing to lie very, very still for quite a while afterward. Of course you couldn’t remember to drink a lot of water before you finally went to bed last night (or this morning, really) - from the looks of things you couldn’t remember how to unlace your boots, either, although you must have tried very hard. The Brita pitcher will be your best friend for most of the day as water is pretty much the only thing you feel is safe to consume. Eventually, though, your stomach makes its presence known through what seems to be honest-to-goodness hunger rather than the nausea you loved so much. This calls for a breakfast sandwich - never mind that it’s closer, temporally, to what most people would call “supper” than it is to breakfast. When the hangover is inevitably gone, don’t worry - it will be back next Sunday, no doubt, and you can entertain yourself in the meantime counting bruises that you don’t remember acquiring.

Today is definitely about eating some real food, finally, and attempting to go to bed before four am because seriously the time is going to come when I have to rejoin the rest of the diurnal population - summer does not, after all, last forever.