if you order chinese food, there will be leftovers. this is a phenomenon completely independent of how great the kung pao tofu is and how hungry you were when you started.

if you try to hit on emma while riding the downtown 2, she will be standoffish. persistent inquiries regarding her hair, however, will result in a lengthy and thorough explanation of the various processes involved. the amount of persistence required is inversely proportional to the amount of alcohol emma has consumed; for example, after a glass or two of port she’ll tell you how to bleach your hair, but you still won’t get her number.

also inversely proportional to the amount of alcohol emma has consumed: the legibility of emma’s handwriting, her ability to see without glasses, and her desire to be sitting on the downtown 2.

tim roth is perhaps the greatest man alive.

it is possible to end up with smoker voice after a week entirely lacking in smoking of any kind.