what a miserable week. i wish we could just go back to monday and start over; everything was pretty peachy when i climbed in bed that night but it was all shot to hell by the time i woke up tuesday morning.

i was reading tycho’s piece on the subject and, as usual, he managed to express an aspect of my own sentiments more effectively and eloquently than i could ever hope to. when help up against tuesday’s events, everything else just seems so incredibly inconsequential, so trivial. who cares about my god damned webcam or the latest jerkcity or whether i remembered to take out the trash; i should be on my knees with gratitude that i’m even alive to think about this crap.

maybe the only thing that doesn’t seem so worthless and unimportant is - duck and cover, trite sentimentality incoming - that this has all made me realize that i do really, honestly care very much not only for my friends but for people i barely know. i never thought i could be affected like this by the messages and gestures of hundreds of people i have never met, and i never thought i would not be able to sleep because of the deaths of people who just happened to live in the same city as me.

anyway. i can’t really think about this any more today. i have a new site for you today or tomorrow, and a new irc server now; derPapst, gundam, and i are in the process of creating HUFFnet, which at the moment consists of irc.caoine.org and irc.ossuary.net, but will soon be joined by irc.rivetdrunks.com. come check it out; the party’s in #caoine.