good lord, i had no idea that red bull was a subject of such strongly-held opinions. since i have been so unmercilessly dissing it lately, i’ve gotten quite a bit of mail on the topic, both from you filty red bull loyalists and also from those true-hearted souls who support me in my worthy rebellion. however, the most interesting of the red-bull-related mail came from someone named brian who pointed out that there are in fact two distinct beverages by that name - both of which are in the energy-providing category. apparently in addition to the austrian concotion i so loathe, there is also a thai version of the substance which is infinitely superior in its effects. i’m intrigued! i’ve decided i must seek out an asian grocery and acquire some of this new and interesting delicacy. if anyone would like to point me in the direction of either more information about the thai red bull, or a location in manhattan where i can purchase some, please feel free!

brian also corrected me on the name of the professional farter i mentioned the other day. it turns out [and i have no idea how brian knows this, but i'm so very glad he does] that the gentleman in fact went by le petomane, not petomaine, and that you can find out more delectable details about his glorious farting career here. i know that made my day.

when i awoke [obscenely early] this morning, i discovered that jim had spent a good portion of the night playing phantasmagoria 2: a puzzle of flesh. it’s apparently a worthy title, and deliciously creepy. in any case, after he exposed me to a particularly hilarious snippet, i am now changing my answering machine message to “sorry, your whore isn’t available right now, but i’d be happy to service you in any way.” i’m actually hoping to get someone with a more ominous voice to record it for me, but you get the idea. i’m sure my father will be just thrilled.

one more thing before i succumb to the daily joys of office drudgery: i will get the new penny arcade redesign live and luscious very, very shortly. there, i’ve said it. i kiss you!