so i have this apartment in brooklyn, right? and my rent is really low. even for brooklyn. and while i’m all for paying as little as possible, there are [unfortunately] specific reasons why my landlord doesn’t take more of my money every month. one such reason lives in the apartment directly below me - this rancid hag known unaffectionately as ‘the crazy lady’. not that kind of goofy harmless crazy that one often encounters in the outer boroughs [would that it were so!], this creature is downright obnoxious. examples, you ask? oh baby, don’t let me commence. it turns out she’s the one who’s been stealing my mail [if you recall the saga of cdnow, the reference there should be clear] - except that she won’t admit that she’s stealing it. she gives it to me weeks later, opened and/or damaged in some way and spins me a yarn involving her heroic [if by heroic you mean "crazy"] self beating off a pack of russians who just would not take no for an answer as far as my copy of the soundtrack to the nightmare before christmas was concerned. yeah. that’s what i said. but so then also she’s taken to cornering me as i leave my apartment every morning to go to work - she hovers around outside, waiting for me to come out. there’s no escaping her vile clutches, and she doesn’t seem to understand the phrase “i can’t talk to you right now, i have to catch my train or i will be late for work.” the most recent of these little encounters was this very morning, and during our chat i was, among other things, accused of a) being a prostitute ["honey, you always got some guy comin in and out and i tell you this house just ain't like that. people round here starting to think maybe you're a professional or sumfin, you know what i'm sayin?"] b) practicing some sort of arcane and sinister ritual [the result of her going through my trash and finding the jack o lantern i threw out a few days ago, which apparently indicates that i'm involved in some kind of "crazy-ass voodoo shit"] and c) not appreciating all the trouble she goes to on my behalf [this one was re: the pack of russians, i think]. this grotesquely trollish specimen of humanity [in terms of providing some sort of mental image here, i'm just going to leave you with the phrases "badly-cut mullet", "horrifying teeth upon which most of her lipstick is smeared", and "animal-print clothing"] is, and i kid you not here, part of the reason why my landlord can’t charge much for my apartment. and the sad part is that if i killed her, i would be the one to go to jail.

i think i need to make a more concerted effort to actually get some sleep when i know i have to go to work in the morning. it’s becoming quite a challenge just keeping my eyes open enough to type, and i’m already on my third cup of coffee. and my socks don’t match! gasp!

re the whole webcam question: i think i’m going to go for it. yes, i’m getting a webcam. mail me if you have brand suggestions or anything.