listening to: nirvana, if you can believe it. come as you are. holy shit does this bring back memories of like seventh grade. heh.

craving: an omelette and my childhood

last night: stayed after work with spencer and chris and played quake for a while, then took the q home. sat down on my bed to take off my boots and the next thing i know it’s ten am this morning. heh. so i got about fourteen hours of sleep. woo.

estimated hours of sleep: oh, how i slept.

so far today: not much. played with the contents of the box i got from ragdoll the other day. i’ll be going back into manhattan to see spencer shortly.

current plans for later today: it’s saturday, so i’m hanging out with spencer. what we’re doing has yet to be determined, but it never fails to entertain.

what else: i have more pictures. but i haven’t uploaded them yet, so you get to wait.

listening to: nothing, at the moment. on the train i was listening to apoptygma berzerk - 7

craving: i don’t know. tupperware?

last night: work. home. web. perl. sleep.

ooooo, and this spooky thing where someone kept calling me and hanging up when i answered. this would be something to keep in mind if you find out in a week or so that i’ve been brutally and mysteriously dismembered. i wonder if it has anything to do with the blank messages on my answering machine when i get home from work every day?

estimated hours of sleep: who can say in these crazy times?

so far today: had the misfortune to be squished next to these caricatures of new yorkers on the train… the first was this lady who, having reached her forties, decides to relive adolescence and dresses like an unpopular high school freshman. she was discussing her fast-track job in the yarn industry with her hairy french personal trainer. “oh yah, my yarn is very expensive. calvin klein can afford my yarn, but most people can’t. it’s japanese yarn. very expensive. and you know, i know everyone in the business. the yarn industry is great for meeting people in the business, you know? yeah. calvin klein is one of our accounts. and polo, too.”

current plans for later today: oh sweet jesus it’s friday. this is the time of the week when all the other clubkids like to break out the glo-sticks and fishnets, but being the poor starving web geek that i am, i’m probably going to stay here half the night writing perl and reading slashdot.

listening to: nothing, but stuck in my head is vnv nation - saviour

craving: toast would be nice. rye toast.

last night: nothing special. worked a bit late to make up for being late in the morning, then headed home and collapsed. lack of sleep does not do wonders for my evenings.

estimated hours of sleep: six or sevenish

so far today: overslept on the train and missed my stop - that’s never happened before. i woke up somewhere in queens. i made it back to work in time, though.

current plans for later today: sleep. oh god yes.

what else: i’m looking for pictures from the nyc vnv show. anyone have any? i’ll love you forever if you send them my way.

listening to: nothing right now, but shortly i’ll be listening to vnv nation - empires

craving: i am at this very moment enjoying a starbucks orange mocha frappucino and it’s just yum.

last night: the vnv nation / apoptygma berzerk show, woo! i got dressed at work around eight [see yesterday's entry], then headed over to the limelight. the show wasn’t even supposed to start until nine thirty, and i got there around eight fifteen, but that’s ok. i stood around outside for a while talking to people - one of the apop crew members was wandering around with a video camera and he interviewed me for a few minutes. so maybe i’ll make it onto some apop concert video or something. i went inside around 8:45. talked to people some more. around 9:00 i managed to secure myself a place directly in front of the stage, slightly to the right of center. but literally up against the stage. some dj was spinning - it sounded like ian, but i’m not sure it was him. vnv ended up not going on until about 10:30, so i had quie a bit of a wait. that’s ok, though. the music the dj was spinning was good, and people were dancing so it wasn’t a bad wait. venus was there; she looked absolutely adorable. so then vnv finally went on and their set was amazing. ronan was great at working the crowd, and the music was incredible. they played most of my favorite songs, too - joy, solitary, standing, even saviour as one of their encores, of which they had two. everyone was dancing, the sound was great, it was wonderful. since i was so close, both members of vnv grabbed my hand as they left the stage and did that ‘touch the crowd’ thing. the crowd was kind of tired after their set, though, and then we had to stand around for another forty minutes while the apop crew got set up. the dj who was spinning at that point was someone else, someone with a penchant for really ick mainstream electronic dance and the kind of bass where you can feel it vibrating through the floor and it makes you faintly nauseous. apop finally went on though, and they were also incredible. they opened with starsign, one of my favorites off of welcome to earth. i had been kind of shoved more to the right by the crowd, which got less dancey and more push-shove-mosh-y during apop, so i was directly in front of the guitarist. i had my hands on the edge of the stage and i had to move them several times so he wouldn’t step on them. the apop set included eclipse, mourn [the faster version], nonstop violence, kathy’s song [come lie next to me], and they did love never dies [part 1] as one of their encores. great stuff. the crowd got rather obnoxious, though - some stupid kid dressed up like a fucking clown decided it would be a wonderful idea to fucking crowd surf to apop. crowd surf. i mean come on kid, this is neither icp nor korn. so that particular genius ended up kicking me in the head on his way down, the fuck. i did my best to step on him while he was scrambling around on the floor trying to get up. but still, i enjoyed myself thoroughly. i was going to stay for electricity after, but i was too tired and it was about 2:00 am by the time everything was over.

estimated hours of sleep: nowhere near enough

so far today: came to work - a bit late - and stopped at starbucks on my way here. damn, i’m sleepy.

current plans for later today: don’t know yet. sleep off the rest of last night, maybe.

what else: no pictures from last night, but i’m sure other people have pictures of vnv and apop and there will be other opportunities to take pictures of me in that outfit.

listening to: that same less-than-peak-performance air conditioner

craving: the rest of the week off

last night: yesterday i was scrambling around trying to think of what to wear to the vnv nation & apoptygma berzerk show tonight. jamar was coming into the city to have dinner with a friend of his, and he stopped by my office with a gorgeous sunflower and some money for me to do some last minute shopping. he’s such a sweetheart. i went over to chrissy’s to borrow her boots and she came shopping with me on st mark’s. we tried on a bunch of clearance stuff at fifth wheel because it was so cheap… and then we found out why it was so cheap. i don’t think any of what we tried on would allow enough movement to sit down or walk, much less dance.

estimated hours of sleep: sevenish

so far today: packed up a canal jeans bag with my concert outfit for tonight, and wore the boots with my work clothes [it looks hilarious]. i guess what i’m going to do is after work change from work clothes to concert clothes and leave my work clothes either here, and pick them up after the show [unlikely] or leave them at spencer’s, or take them with me and check the bag.

current plans for later today: vnv and apop tonight! woo. i’m really looking forward to this show.

what else:
the final selections for the concert outfit:
- chrissy’s “ass-stompers” - big chunky-heeled boots that go up to mid-calf and give me about three to four inches in height [they look vaguely like this, except that instead of buckles they have these stretchy rubbery strips, and they zip instead of lace. also, the sole isn't quite that dramatic and the toe is more rounded]
- black tights
- a black lipservice “schoolgirl” skirt - pleated with the classic big saftey pin and buckle and whatnot. [see it in plaid here]
- thin black mesh [not fishnet] top
- a black stretch vinyl lipservice halter which zips up the front [see it here]
- black vinyl waist cincher with three buckles and lacing in back [see something similar here - mine's not pointy and has three buckles. it's not by lipservice, either.]
- black spiked collar
- black wrist things with loops
- hair: i’m going to do two high braided pigtails, farther towards the back of my head as opposed on on the sides. no fake hair tonight, since i’m expecting to be in the middle of a very tightly packed, very sweaty, very dance-y crowd.
- black goggles with black lenses [see them in other colors here]
- makeup: lots of silver and black. i’m using manic panic warpaint in stiletto on my lips, urban decay ud40 in spare change on my eyes and possibly for a few streaks in my hair. eyes will be lined in oil of olay liner in onyx.

i’ll try and get someone to take pictures. i hope this all comes together.

listening to: an unhappy air conditioner

craving: hmm. strawberries would be nice. cut up ones, with brown sugar.

last night: yesterday i was just completely lazy. it was nice. i didn’t wake up till almost noon, then i took a really long bath and spent most of the day reading. i didn’t even get dressed until like late afternoon. i went out for indian food around nine and went to bed around midnight.

estimated hours of sleep: six to seven

so far today: had a hard time getting out of bed this morning because it was so comfortable and i just really didn’t want to get up. now that’s school’s in session the subway is packed with like junior high and high school kids. ugh.

current plans for later today: i’m going over to chriss-eh’s later today to borrow her boots for the vnv/apop show tomorrow. woo.

what else: oh, why are my weekends always so very short.

listening to: portishead - sour times

craving: waffles. with blueberries. there’s this place chrissy and i used to go to a lot last year that has cowprinted walls. their waffles are yum. maybe i’ll go there today…

last night: stayed late with spencer at work because he didn’t want to go home. i was playing around and came up with a little mini-site for my journal - it’s right here: precarious.org. it’s not quite finished yet, but it’s functional, at least. i still need to get dns service for that domain; right now it’s just forwarding to caoine.org/precarious/. which doesn’t really bother me, but i’d rather get dns service anyway.

estimated hours of sleep: sevenish

so far today: woke up relatively early, took a shower, did some weird braid thing with my hair. spoke to spencer. i’m heading into manhattan shortly to go to the farmer’s market in union square, then to buy tights and a skirt for the vnv nation/apoptygma berzerk show on tuesday. after that i’m picking up spencer. who knows what we’re doing. we try to spend our saturdays together as much as possible because we’re both so busy that we don’t see each other much else except at work.

current plans for later today: manhattan. oh, i think we’re getting the rest of spencer’s stuff out of my apartment today, too. so that should be nice. i’m working on finishing up the furnishing of this place - i have everything picked out, it’s just a matter of saving up the money i need.

what else: i always seem to make an effort to look cute on the weekends. maybe it’s because the dress code at work is kind of stifling? probably. i get to have fun on saturdays and sundays, but then i have to be drab all week. well, during the day at least.

listening to: icon of coil - shallow nation

craving: money. i have visions in my head of what i want to wear to the vnv show on tuesday and i can’t afford any of them. i just had this great omelette, though.

last night: work till six, then headed home. general self-maintainence stuff: re-did my nails, shaved extensively [which i'm sure you wanted to know], took a long bath. that sort of thing. then i read until i fell asleep.

i love that the weather is cooler now. i can curl up under my big comfy blanket and i don’t even need the air conditioning on.

estimated hours of sleep: seven or eight… i was good last night

so far today: these lovely roses showed up at my office today. they’re gorgeous. they’re sitting on my desk right now, and everyone is wondering who the hell they’re from. thank you =)

current plans for later today: spencer and i are doing something tonight which has not yet been established. maybe a movie or something. who knows? i’m in a good mood today, though i’d be in a better mood if i had enough money for these boots, this waist cincher, and this corset.

what else: flowers make me happy =)

listening to: depeche mode - sweetest perfection

craving: hot cider would still be kind of nice, but i’m thinking more along the lines of tea today.

last night: i worked late, trying to finish up this project that i’ve been mired in for way too long. when i was finally ready to leave, spencer took a break and we walked over to the bookstore to look at technical books. i got the macromedia press book on flash. not that i have time to learn it right now, but it’s on my list.

after the bookstore excursion, spencer went back to work and i went home. by the time i was home i was so exhausted that i just took a shower and went to bed.

estimated hours of sleep: seven, maybe? i dunno.

so far today: i actually had a decent breakfast today. shock. the most i usually ever have is a bagel or something, but i was hungry this morning.damn. i’m talking about my breakfast. how interesting is my life? thought so.

it’s still nice and chilly out. i think this weekend i’m going to go to the farmers’ market in union square, which of course used to be right outside my door but is now like an hour away.

current plans for later today: it’s what, wednesday? i’m probably going to be here late again, and then i’m just going to want to go home, most likely. maybe work on another project i’m doing for myself, though i doubt by the time i’m through with this day i’m going to want to even think about more work.

what else: damn. i love depeche mode.

listening to: vnv nation - empires

craving: hot cider

last night: i cleaned my apartment a bit and fell asleep absurdly early. but i feel so much better today that it was worth it. my apartment is slowly crawling towards being a halfway decent place to live. i just need to get rid of all the shit that spencer left and buy some more furniture.

estimated hours of sleep: nine and a half or ten

so far today: the q is back on its regular route, which means i get to take it from my house to my office without changing trains. huzzah.

the weather this morning was so delicious. the first taste of fall. the air had that chilly little bite to it that made me think of breaking out my wool sweaters and buying apples. i absolutely adore fall, especially fall in the city.

current plans for later today: who can say in these crazy times?

what else: i’m having a cinnamon & brown sugar pop tart right now. it’s a radical new direction in breakfast foods for me.